DISAAPPOINTMENT

Doesn't this whole scenario seems familiar? How ironic this is. It happened last year. Except, this time,the roles have been reversed.

I kind of know or understand how everything became like this. I don't blame you. Or maybe I do. Today, my choice to walk away, probably implies to you that I am petty, angry, whatever. Of course, I am angry. But mostly disappointment. When we got the results last year, and know that we are of different class, I thought we had an agreement that we will still remain as best friends. But, lately, everything seems to be changing. You seem to be drifting away from me, we have less topics to talk about, sometimes, even awkward silences. I noticed that you are closer with Elizabeth and other people but I won't blame you. After all, they are your classmates. Yet, we still spend time together, after school, during school, after dance and so on. We try to spend more time with one another. Then once, after dance, you told me that we should not let dance affect our friendship since we already have such little time together. That's what you said. But you are not acting it out. I understand, we are different positions, it makes it hard for us to communicate, for me that is. Then today, after everything, it just laid out all so clearly to me. That maybe we aren't best friends anymore. That maybe it's time for me to try accept the fact. During the trip to UCC, we sat next together, yet you seemed like miles apart. On the trip back, it was also the same. You were talking to Ser Jean and Hui Jun and act if I wasn't there. I promised to sit with Victoria, but for you, I broke it. Everytime, after dance, Priscilla and Shu Ying will ask me whether I want to go home with them but I will always refuse, because I want go home woth you, to spend more time with you. I thought you have realised that I am in a rush, because I do not live near school like you do. Do you know, sometimes, when dance end late I will still go home with you? It's because to spend more time. Do you realise that going home with Priscilla they all, I get to spend more time instead if being alone, unlike when I am traveling with you. Now I seem that you, Ser Jean and Hui Jun are very close. You tell secrets, I just don't know. If it's about guys, you know how I feel and what's my stand. I just don't know what to say.

I am trying so hard to maintain this relationship. But, if one gives up, everything fall aparts.



This is how I feel.