A complete guide to what men are really thinking (not much really...)

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked' - Jerry Seinfeld

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem? -Dustin Hoffman

According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful - Robert De Niro


32 years old is significant, because at 32 you can sleep with someone half your age and not go to jail.

Sex is like a bridge game; if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.

My brain is my second favorite organ. -Woody Allen

No one has ever died from an overdose of pornography."-J. Money and P. Tucker

And as to complete the toast, here's to our wives and sweethearts — may they never meet

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country

A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are.